I DID IT MY WAY

MISS RHEINGOLD: The name Rheingold in German means PURE GOLD. It is a clean sounding word combination-----inferring the best.

While the last white Rhino was wiped out of existence, in fact the very same week, so were all but four of my upper teeth! Were these items equally sad to lose? I should venture to say "no", but yet cannot.

I think there is a connection between these two events and the gold, but am not sure I can explain it to everyone's satisfaction!

Losing a part of one's body is traumatic, especially if the replacement does not give even a false sense of security!

Now, for the theme of this week: I DID IT MY WAY---all of you are sure to recall this song made famous by Frank Sinatra. What you may not be sure of is that it had been an equally famous and beloved song in France first. The title there; COMME D'HABITUDE  (As Usual), lyrics by CLOCLO---who died an early, untimely death by electrocution just after stepping out of the shower! I cannot say why I wanted to link these events together, but feel the irony may explain itself!

I have not lived any part of my life "comme d'habitude"; I have indisputably lived it my way.

So I am responsible in large part for losing my teeth after having smoked for 45 years. The gums tire of the activity and the teeth can lose their hold! My 21st non-smoking anniversary comes up this April 8th.I am thrilled to think I will be here to celebrate it!

 I have not felt the sudden pangs of electrocution in the literal sense, but the pangs of very weak or very wrong decisions have left part of me burned. When the clamps came down on those teeth that had served me faithfully for so many years, and I cried bitterly while squeezing the hand of the dental assistant who offered it to me, I heard  and felt the wild crack as a small hammer chiseled away. Finally, there were several harsh blows inside of my upper mouth, and I realized there was no "my way" to implement.

I was asked to look at some pretty slow moving pictures on a nearby screen. I did not choose to do that. Instead, I focused on two amateur paintings of a large yellow fish I suspected were executed by the dentist, a 40ish serious looking, but gentle woman. The fish on the canvas was jumping out of the water, high into the art.

A part of my life flashed before me as she held the mirror before me, and I saw there are some things we decide about that really have not got options. They sort of move along on their own!

The aftermath has hit me hard. There is pain, anxiety, and regret-----there are could haves, should haves, and the like which we have all experienced in different degrees. The options are madly expensive implants which would be foolish squandering at the age I have reached.

Life is about a series of gains and losses for sure---no dispute. They become muddled when one or the other takes front row! Was this experience a loss or a gain? A tossup?

Today, I am virtually thrilled to be alive another day. I will miss my teeth and the freedom they allowed me to enjoy smiling and eating! Here's a tribute to them.

For the friends who helped me with the cost, I am powerfully grateful. Age brings wisdom, yes, if we let it. We must rely on ourselves, however, once the wisdom teeth are extracted! Is this "PURE GOLD"? I am not sure.

Better to lose teeth rather than one's temper--or one's friends, so many of whom have departed these last years.

Love to you all, Miss Rheingold--- (-pure gold)